Being A Stay At Home Mom
Posted on : 31-03-2011 | By : Erika Marie | In : Family
Tags: family, kids, SAHM
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Becoming a stay at home mom is really what I always wanted to be. So why did I shed a single tear when I found out I was part of a company-wide layoff? I guess I was afraid. I had gotten so used to being the one whose money went to paying the bills while my husband’s money went to whatever else. Now, his money will be used to pay the bills, mostly, but I will be getting unemployment as well. All of the sudden, I realized that it was very possible to be a stay at home mom.
I’ve always been a jack of all trades. I’ve always had a plethora of career dreams, or hobbies I could turn into a career, but most of all I wanted to be a mom. My little bundle of joy was a complete surprise to us and I was scared to death when I found out I was pregnant with my first biological child, but she has made everyone so happy in so many ways. She’s the reason my mother and I get along so much better now and she brings so much love into our lives that it’s unimaginable. When I would drop her off at daycare, I hated it. I hated saying goodbye to that precious face wondering if she’d say her first word or take her fist step there instead of with me.
I just honestly believe that a woman’s place is home, taking care of her children. It’s a shame that women’s lib and equal rights have backstabbed us and forced women to work just to make ends meet. With the second income came inflation. Property values skyrocketed. Crime increased. There were suddenly twice as many people needing jobs. During war, women would take over men’s jobs but when they returned they would go back to taking care of the home. I honestly believe women, looking for equality, basically screwed our country’s deficit. Where we once were able to sit around the table and eat meals as families, children are grabbing junk food as they wait for their parents to come home from work. Who is teaching your children morals and values?
Who is raising your kids? Family? Daycare? Babysitters? A nanny??? I have some great nanny friends but I abhor the idea of having a nanny. It makes me sick to see these people on Real Housewives or Basketball Wives that do not work and still have a nanny! Even with taking my daughter to daycare, I still have this fear that my daughter will love the daycare provider more than she loves me. I know that’s not remotely possible since I have the boobies, but it still runs through my mind. I’ve been quite jealous of my daycare provider ever since I first dropped Elianah off the very first day, and she happens to be a friend of mine.
My stepson goes off to visit his maternal family members and almost always comes back with bad habits when he visits certain people. He has told us that over there, he dips his french fries in butter!! Hello, heart attack?! Oh, and let’s not forget about the sugar in the orange juice. He forgets to say please and he stops wiping his butt properly. Why? Because they do it for him. Really? He’s 5 years old. He will, if everything goes right, be enrolling in school this fall. These people are helping raise him whether we like it or not. While I would love to deny them of his company, I cannot as they lost his biological mother and I guess that just wouldn’t be right… or I don’t have the say-so that I’d really like to have. Maybe it’s a combination of the two, but I lean more towards the latter.
I can’t wait to be a stay at home mom so that I can do my part to right my family what society has taken away. Do I blame you for having to work? No, not at all. Your children on the other hand, are suffering, whether you believe it or not. I know it’s a hard reality and every day that I am working away from home, I feel that we are all missing out, but it must be done. I have accepted that, and I feel that my being laid off is the best thing that’s happened since Elianah exited the womb. They say that when one door closes, another opens. It is so true.
No related posts.
One day I hope you will see that equally poisonous to our morals and society are people who have little life experience casting harsh and painful judgement on people they do not know and lifestyles they know little to nothing about.
You want hard realities? The hard reality is that you life a cushy, privileged life and tonight when you rock your gorgeous little baby girl to sleep, you should not be wasting time with worrying about how working moms are ruining society and instead thank God (or whoever you worship) that you were blessed enough to have this baby, blessed enough to be able to stay home with her.
One more harsh reality? Women like you are just as part of the problem. The next time you feel like casting judgement on something so personal and intimate as motherhood, ask yourself “what am I doing today to make the world a better place for my daughter?”
Because this post here? Isn’t it.
I have no issue with moms who have to work. Or even WANT to work. In today’s society, it is necessary. However, I do feel that children can suffer. If a mother can balance that out, great for her, but most cannot!
Okay judgy mcjudgerson umm you are getting unemployment… refuse the unemployment pay and maybe you wouldn’t sound so douchey.
Why on earth would I refuse unemployment pay? It’s not a hand out. It’s not like I’m on welfare. And if accepting unemployment pay makes me sound douchey, then a douche I am.
Women’s Lib is not a movement made up soley of people who want mothers to hit the work force. Not every woman is a mother, and, someday, you will no longer have a child at home with you to be a mother to. At that time you may find yourself grateful for the opportunity to reenter the workforce.
While I appreciate that there is an economic crunch, especially in our cities with high property taxes and inflated home prices, that forces many homes to be dual income when one parent may want to be home with his or her children, it’s a narrow stance you’ve taken here.
Women were once excluded from the right to vote. Women were once considered the property of their husbands. Women are still entering the workforce only to earn a portion of the income their male counterparts do.
The suffrage movement and Women’s Lib have done more than pave the way for voting rights, property rights, and job rights for mothers. It has made it possible for abused women to seek help.
And, the key you are neglecting, is that it has done so for young women yet to have families; mothers whose children have left the home; mothers who choose to work because there is more than one way to raise a happy, healthy family; and women everywhere who simply do not want or are not able to become mothers.
Your supposition is based on the idea that all women are mothers with children at home. By thinking so, you’ve backstabbed the myriad women who do not enjoy your life circumstances.
I didn’t mean to totally condemn women’s lib. That was never my intention. It has done a lot of wonderful things… but I think it has also had negative side effects and I believe it has contributed greatly to our current economy and the dynamic of a normal family.
Hi Erika –
I wrote a blog post in response to your post. In the essence of dialogue, I would love for you to read it! http://wp.me/p1uMIv-F
Thanks –
Sarah
I apologize for the delayed response. I have not been home much and have completely neglected my blog. I appreciate you reading and I am quite surprised at the response the aforementioned blog post received.
While, I still believe that working women have something to do with much of the downfalls of society, I believe it is simply a correlation. There are so many factors that no one thing is to blame. I’ve had these views for quite a long time. Before I got married, became a mother, while I was still living under my parents’ roof.
It was not my intention to cast guilt on working mothers. That was my own guilt I was feeling and it is merely MY opinion. It killed me every day to say goodbye and I was scared to death that my daughter would say her first word or take her first step in daycare. Perhaps that is my own insecurity.
I do disagree with who is raising your child. You state that your mother and daycare also takes care of him. They play a role in raising him. You can teach him something over and over, but still, those who take care of him have input. That is where the paragraph regarding my step-son came into play. We teach him right from wrong. We give him utensils and teach him how to use those utensils. However, if he spends a great deal of time elsewhere, those people can teach him alternative methods and instill beliefs that we may not agree with… and they do. If it were my daughter, I would not allow those people around her for any length of time, at least not without my presence. I have little control over it with step-children. That’s great that your mom and daycare do a great job. Not all do. I never meant to say your child will not be as great as my child will be because of the way you have chosen, or are required to raise him. A child of a stay at home parent has just as much of a chance as any child to not be well balanced and vice versa.
It sounds to me that you care about your child very much and I doubt anyone thinks you’re doing a less than great job at raising your child. I would like to think people would say the same about me but if not, that’s alright. I’m just raising my daughter how I feel is best. At the time, while I still unsuccessfully look for work, it is with her. I doubt I will be able to be a stay at home mom forever, and I am sure it will be very hard for me to leave her again. For me, the guilt will return. Regardless, I will still do what I feel is best for her.
Namaste,
Erika Marie
You have the nerve to talk about working mothers. I work, go to school, and I am still able to take care of my family with no problems. Get off your high horse… only reason you are not working is because you got laid off. I bet you would not be able to live without your unemployment check. You also have some nerve talking about your stepsons family. Be glad they want to be involved in his life.
I was a working mother… & I felt guilty for it. Just my opinion… Oh well.